I had a visitor.

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I was settling into my new home and loving another new beginning. Everything around me was shaping up beautifully. My new job just washed away my financial worries, and I was getting excited about bedside nursing again. I showed up all excited and open to learning for my shift, not knowing what was awaiting me.
A monster in the form of my preceptor. She used well-known techniques to belittle, disrespect and bully me. All my energy was sucked out of me within a couple of hours being by her side, and I ended up sobbing in a corner; scared out of my wits.
Just hours ago, I was confident and grateful, and now I was lost in the dark alley of despair. I finished my shifts and gathered all my strength not to break down in front of the evil preceptor or quit my job the next day.
Soon after, I realized I was attacked by a narcissist. It was unsettling for me to accept that again, a narcissist can strip me of my confidence and annihilate me so quickly. I was angry, ashamed and very disheartened that months of self-therapy and recovery were not sufficient. I reached out to friends who knew my struggles. They pointed out that my healing journey was yet to be completed. I still have trauma to recover from. Apparently, the abusive behavior of my preceptor was like a visitor from the past that resurfaced some old wounds in me.
Through tapping and meditation, I will dig deeper into my heart and soul and complete my journey to a whole healthy ME.


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