You, Your Mind, Your Life

The beginning of every month is an exciting time. We are one month older, a few ounces heavier (or lighter), (hopefully) a little wiser, and (you can fill in the blank------------).  Start of every month can be an edit, refresh and restart time. We can: archive and possibly delete unpleasant memories,  print happy memories,  restock our fridge and pantry,  clean our living spaces (I mean detail cleaning),  declutter our closet and cabinets (donate, recycle and repurpose all those unused items taking space), send out some cards and notes (in the age of social media, print communication is even more rewarding), review our budget (maybe ask ourselves do I really need to dine out that often or help out amazon's sales every month), weigh ourselves (you can decide what to do after seeing that number on the scale), start a new healthy habit (can be anything from portion control, meditation, taking supplements, washing your face every night, burning a scented candle while readi

How many women have neck and shoulder pain, headaches and preventable injuries related to their bags (handbag, shoulder bag, purses of different styles and sizes.) How did we get here? Do we have to stay here? Do we really need the bag? History of women's handbag is fascinating. It started as a pouch attached at the waistline, then a wristlet and now to almost a piece of luggage on our shoulders. It truly was inspired by the carry on handbags carried by travelers. We adopted a piece of luggage as part of our daily fashion. But does it have to be so inconvenient, inflict physical pain and cost so much? So ladies check your bag or purse. Assess if you really have to carry all the items you carry in your purse or handbag around all the time. Start with your wallet. Do you need to have your collection of department store credit cards with you every day? Do you need two different kinds of hand sanitizers, lipsticks, nail clipper, electronic devices, notepad, diary, checkbook (if you

Gender equality. Philosophy, religion, science, and history have been trying to define and implore gender equality with minimum success. Why is it called a Man's world when in reality they wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for women? Why is the balancing act targeted at women? Why do women have to balance career, family and much more? Who gave men the pass to not deal with the same conflicts as women? Why don't TV shows and magazine articles dispense advice for men on how to win over women and please their partners in bed better? I am not even going to bring the superficial issue of youth and how and why women need to keep young appearance. That's a separate discussion. Why do women sit around telling other women how to please their husbands while taking care of their children and owning a professional career? Why don't they advise men on how to participate in house chores with their wives and how to behave with their female coworkers? We have been telling

"Don't talk to me before my coffee!" "I am not a morning person." "I am a night owl." I am most productive at 3pm." What is your preference? Are you a morning person or evening person, and what do you mean by that? Being sluggish in the morning can have different reasons, like poor sleep hygiene, low blood sugar, unhealthy diet etc. Running out of energy by the evening shares some of the same reasons like poor diet, sedentary lifestyle, stress and idleness. There is plenty of online advise for you to choose from to improve your energy level and mood. What I would like to reflect on here is morning vs. evening. I am a morning person in the sense that I wake up early. But instead of spending beautiful morning hours stuck in traffic or listening to the news or anything else, I would like to sit and watch the color of the sky change, listen to the sound of life getting louder gradually, and join the stillness there is in the morning hours. I would l

I had lived my early years of life under an oppressive regime, in a state of constant unknown, and hopeless future. As a girl, I couldn't dream to be independent and have an individual identity. I had to be someone's daughter, sister, wife or mother. My parents were torn between keeping us safe and giving us hope. I sometimes took refuge in my imaginations, where I was placed in a very different society where I could be my own person. One of these imaginary paths were running away to a foreign land with a male companion who would protect me and also allow me to become my own person, my knight in shinning armor. When I finally did come to the land of opportunity and freedom, I was overwhelmed. I wanted to do so many things with very limited capabilities. My imaginations had fooled my mind and my expectations by tricking my mind to believe that I was capable of more that I actually could do. I had a major gap between my new reality and my unrealistic expectations. Thus began my

"Winners never quit and quitters never win." Like "think positively" this statement is a scam. Don't believe it, don't make it your motto. You will save yourself a lot of heartache, time, effort and even money by quitting the cumbersome pursuit, the wrong person, the forced relationship, the impractical dream. We sometimes think of our energy and time as an infinite resource, a well that never dries. WRONG!!!! Once we realize this, we will value our personal resources dearly and will dedicate them to meaningful purposes. If getting that perfect body is an unmanageable goal and brings you so much guilt and shame, it is time to quit. Don't quit on your health, instead quit on the unreasonable goal that doesn't fit your priorities and lifestyle. Redefine your goal; maybe you can't be size 2, but you need to work out to keep endorphin circulating in your system, to keep pain away and your blood sugar steady. Escalation of commitment is what keeps

You read all kinds of quotes about "denial" and how it is bad for you. I agree. One way denial can hurt you is it brings you closer to failure. When you deny your own responsibility in your mistakes, you fail to learn the lesson. When you deny you made a mistake in the first place, you deny yourself growth and change. When you deny you need to change, you are getting ready to settle in a hole and wait for misery to be dumped on you. Denial has its perks which makes it very popular with lazy people. When you deny, you are putting the blame on someone else and so you win the blame game. When you deny, you don't have to change or do anything different and that makes life easier. Oh the luxury to have to no accountability and responsibility towards yourself and others is so precious. Sometimes, we go the extra mile to obtain that luxury. Imagine how privileged it sounds when we issue the verdict that someone else was at fault and now has to pay the price and acquit oursel

I was listening to a book in my car today and one sentence really captured my attention. "set limit to your worry and once you have reached that limit, stop worrying about that one thing." It is like budgeting. We set a limit on how much money we will spend on groceries, clothing, and dining out. We budget our time by limiting how much TV we watch and browse social media sites (hopefully we are doing so). So why not set limit on our worrying habit. We often worry ourselves crazy paranoid about the past or the future. We use our energy as if it is an infinite source. We pick our favorite worry and spend countless hours ruminating over it, creating worst case scenarios, predicting reactions and misfortunes and get paranoid about it. If this process is interrupted by sleep, work and other daily obligations, we pick up where we have left off and carry on as soon as we get the chance. So here is a tip on how to cap your worry, decide how much time you will invest in worrying ab

What is your lifestyle? Life is full of colors, themes, struggles, options, paths and outcomes. As a human being, we have so many needs and we have options for each. We need to eat, dress, have a shelter or residence, interact, learn and explore, have purpose, define our direction, exist in harmony, have individual identity etc. We have many roles to fill, many expectations to meet, many choices to make on a daily basis. It is not all hard since we are designed to accomplish all this at some point in our lives. But, most of us struggle; we struggle mentally, ethically, physically to meet the challenge because there is conflict. There is conflict between choices and decision, desires and potentials, and our greed to maximize our benefit with every decision we make and our potentials. Everyone wants to outsmart life, to maximize their profits and minimize their efforts and sufferings. Era of social media has been having contradicting influence on the outcome of our decisions. As much as

I am scared to to return home. The home I have with my husband. I am afraid I will expect him to pick up after himself, I will expect him to share in the responsibilities of raising our daughter, and I am afraid that I will be disappointed. I will be mad in return, and then sad, angry, resentful and unhappy. I wonder if he sees me as a lazy wife. One that needs help despite not working. I wonder if he has expectations from me to be like his friends wives, or at least the Facebook version of them: adventurous, active, fit, great party hosts... i wonder if he is dreading my return to home. I have to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time. The universe is telling me to be positive, to be in charge of my own happiness. I must remind myself of that. I must lower my expectations, way more! I must remind myself that nothing stays the same. That maybe this is the hard years. I must act the exact same way I want him to act. I must...I will love him despite his flaws, and his short com

I am lucky that I am not a perfectionist, but I was attempting to be one inconsistently. As a mother, I used to stress about being the perfect mother by focusing on minor daily mishaps. My on and off and often failed attempts at "fixing" every little aspect of my and my daughter's life was keeping me in a constant state of anxiety. In my career, I used to drain all my energy by giving 150% on the job and emotionally getting involved in my patients' issues. Then I came across this idea " connection vs perfection". It feels as if I found the missing link in my search for a more practical and peaceful life. This idea shifted my perspective and relieved me from unnecessary stress and anxiety. Now I give 100% on the job. I am still compassionate and caring while acknowledging my limitations. My patients love me and I love helping them as much as possible. I have realized that connecting with my patients and establishing trusting relationship with them is more e