You, Your Mind, Your Life

What is your lifestyle? Life is full of colors, themes, struggles, options, paths and outcomes. As a human being, we have so many needs and we have options for each. We need to eat, dress, have a shelter or residence, interact, learn and explore, have purpose, define our direction, exist in harmony, have individual identity etc. We have many roles to fill, many expectations to meet, many choices to make on a daily basis. It is not all hard since we are designed to accomplish all this at some point in our lives. But, most of us struggle; we struggle mentally, ethically, physically to meet the challenge because there is conflict. There is conflict between choices and decision, desires and potentials, and our greed to maximize our benefit with every decision we make and our potentials. Everyone wants to outsmart life, to maximize their profits and minimize their efforts and sufferings. Era of social media has been having contradicting influence on the outcome of our de...

I am scared to to return home. The home I have with my husband. I am afraid I will expect him to pick up after himself, I will expect him to share in the responsibilities of raising our daughter, and I am afraid that I will be disappointed. I will be mad in return, and then sad, angry, resentful and unhappy. I wonder if he sees me as a lazy wife. One that needs help despite not working. I wonder if he has expectations from me to be like his friends wives, or at least the Facebook version of them: adventurous, active, fit, great party hosts... i wonder if he is dreading my return to home. I have to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time. The universe is telling me to be positive, to be in charge of my own happiness. I must remind myself of that. I must lower my expectations, way more! I must remind myself that nothing stays the same. That maybe this is the hard years. I must act the exact same way I want him to act. I must...I will love him despite his flaws, and his short com...

I am lucky that I am not a perfectionist, but I was attempting to be one inconsistently. As a mother, I used to stress about being the perfect mother by focusing on minor daily mishaps. My on and off and often failed attempts at "fixing" every little aspect of my and my daughter's life was keeping me in a constant state of anxiety. In my career, I used to drain all my energy by giving 150% on the job and emotionally getting involved in my patients' issues. Then I came across this idea " connection vs perfection". It feels as if I found the missing link in my search for a more practical and peaceful life. This idea shifted my perspective and relieved me from unnecessary stress and anxiety. Now I give 100% on the job. I am still compassionate and caring while acknowledging my limitations. My patients love me and I love helping them as much as possible. I have realized that connecting with my patients and establishing trusting relationship with them is more e...

Do I reflect enough? Do I reflect more than I should? Is it beneficial to reflect? How are the contents of my reflections improving over time? Am I progressing or regressing? Can I do something better with my time than reflection? But I love reflecting on my thoughts, emotions and actions. I make steady progress if only I took my self discoveries seriously. I come up with certain revelations about myself and then I forget about them. Even though I forget them, they leave me changed a little bit. Therefore, I make slow progress. My initial questions still stand unanswered. There are many many articles and books on reflection and its benefits. It is a skill like many others, yoga, guitar playing, running etc. It requires proper technique and consistency of practice to master it, to apply it appropriately. Otherwise, it can turn into a session of worry and regrets. Some times, I take a detour down those lanes. But more often, I enjoy my reflections. Now I need a way to log my reflections...

I have been pressing my younger sister to blog about her life experiences since she has been living such a diverse and interesting life. I have the same intentions though my life is less diverse than hers. The recent thought about writing n sharing our life stories is how it will be perceived. I was talking to few of my co-workers last night and started telling about some experiences of mine as a teenager in Pakistan. They looked amused. They kept asking questions which reassured me they are actively listening and want to know more. I often try to listen to myself as I speak, my attempt in improving myself. The images of my memories kept playing in my head as I listened to myself talking about them while trying to stay present at the ICU nurse station and also listen to the monitor alarms of patients. Then I started to switch place with my friends/audience and listen to my stories. That's when I questioned the reality of my experiences. I started wondering if my experiences sound...

United States of America, the land of hyphenated citizens, is like a safe house for many people around the world. It is certainly true for me. I wasn't born here but I have had many of my best experiences and opportunities here. I earned college degrees, chose my career (even changed it with no social limitation), worked as I wanted, made my own life choices (some didn't work well), broke old traditions without retribution etc. I can  go out of my house without fear of being raped and killed, can leave my house without a man accompanying me and dress as I preferr. I am safe from many life threatening phenomena that women face around the world. I have lived the best moments of my life here, in this land. But I can never venture too far from my afghan roots. I spent the crucial learning years of my life in Afghanistan. Most of my values and personal preferences are based on my upbringing in Afghan culture. Those values and standards were refined by the education I earned and the ...

Being Muslim is getting harder even in a liberal country like US. I blame it to the generalized ignorance that is gripping the land of the free. It was 5-6 years ago that I noticed ignorance was becoming the new trend. People were not smart, just smart mouthed. We started to over simplify theories, to summarize philosophies and lower standards and excuse continuous failure while accepting mediocre performances. At time, I didn't think much of the trend. I assumed it will die away with time. Obviously I was wrong. Ignorance became widespread between many layers of society and now it is the accepted norm. Just listen to some talk show hosts and news reporters and you will see what I mean. The content of their questions, the direction of their proposals and the background of their arguments are shockingly primitive and presumptive. You want to answer the question or argue the idea presented, but for immature debater like me, it gets confusing. Confusing because the question posed or t...