You, Your Mind, Your Life

We usually think of life as an alive force with emotions and logic similar to those of us, human beings. Some people talk of life as loving and beautiful and some as vengeful and unforgiving. When we are in the trenches of it, we feel targetted by life. When we are striving, we feel grateful to " life" for being kind to us. But the truth is that Life is Not Alive. It has no emotions and feelings nor logic and common sense. Life is a series of events that happen around us and the forces that influence life are more often than not are beyond our control. We usually attach meaning, value and stories to life based on our own experiences and attitudes. An unpleasant experience will be perceived very differently by two people with different mindsets. The one who has a mindset of struggle will suffer while the one with a mindset of growth will learn from the same unpleasant experience. We hear all around us about how to "just be positive", "worry takes you nowhere, s

I am tired. Tired of overthinking and ruminating. Tired of regretting my past and planning my future. Tired of searching for meaning and purpose in everything I do and think. Tired of worry and anxiety. Tired of wanting to get it right everytime. Tired of looking for explanation in my and others' actions and behavior. Tired of explaining myself to myself. Tired of analyzing my emotions and processing my thoughts. I surrender. I am not giving up but merely surrendering to life. I surrender to karma, to motions of the universe and to the superior source of energy. I surrender because I realized I am not in control. I accept how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of life. I surrender in order to stop resisting. I surrender in order to open up my heart and my mind to receive. I am willing to receive what universe is offering me. I am open to receive love and life outside my sphere of comprehension. I am allowing fortune to happen to me, paths to open up spontaneously without m

I was settling into my new home and loving another new beginning. Everything around me was shaping up beautifully. My new job just washed away my financial worries, and I was getting excited about bedside nursing again. I showed up all excited and open to learning for my shift, not knowing what was awaiting me. A monster in the form of my preceptor. She used well-known techniques to belittle, disrespect and bully me. All my energy was sucked out of me within a couple of hours being by her side, and I ended up sobbing in a corner; scared out of my wits. Just hours ago, I was confident and grateful, and now I was lost in the dark alley of despair. I finished my shifts and gathered all my strength not to break down in front of the evil preceptor or quit my job the next day. Soon after, I realized I was attacked by a narcissist. It was unsettling for me to accept that again, a narcissist can strip me of my confidence and annihilate me so quickly. I was angry, ashamed and very dishearte

Life has been kind and kindly crazy towards me in the last 4 months. I think all the chaos is catching up with me. I am getting on the edge again. My body is screaming again, from weight gain, irregular period and stubborn acne to mood swings, sleep disturbance, and brain fog. Yes, I know some tips and tricks. But now is not the time to preach or point fingers. There is no judgment in healing, and that is what I need, healing. Counting my blessings: I am not displaying self-destructive behavior, I am staying financially sane and trying to keep hope alive. Yet I am feeling misplaced, at the mercy of chance, short of breath and running out of patience. I need a day or two or half day to myself. I can afford the time but don't know what to do. My physical symptoms are overwhelming, and I know it will take me months to recover from it all. I don't have the energy for it this time.

I am in the middle of selling the current house and moving to an apartment ordeal. The task of simplifying and downsizing is physically and emotionally hard. What to keep and what to toss away? Two tall bookshelves, two benches with storage spaces, two huge drawers of the dresser plus some shelves in the loft were packed with books, folders, notebooks, and papers. I couldn't decide what to keep and what to let go. What if I need those notebooks? I can certainly use those new binder folders with colorful separators and divider tabs in the future. I love books and I have handpicked all of my books. Eventually, I will make the time to reach each one of them. These were all the STUFF that I had accumulated, stored, organized and looked at for over 5 years. I read about 35% of my books, barely needed those folders and papers and notebooks. But still, I didn't want to give them up.  I was facing my STUFF as I was meditating when it dawned on me. How much energy have I spent over

December and January were difficult months for me. My depression took over and made me miserable. Its physical manifestations were server neck and shoulder pain. Thanks to my amazing Chiropractor, DO and therapist, I am back on track. For the most part. Here are some points I've learned that I would like to share: A chiropractor visit is more beneficial than massage sessions when you are suffering from chronic pain.  If you MD is reluctant, go to a DO. Have your copper and histamine levels tested! Imbalance of those chemicals can cause chaos in your mind and body.  Seeing a therapist is invaluable in assessment and development of proper coping skills.  Allow yourself to feel.  Keep a healthy diet. Fried food, junk food, and cookies don't fix anything.  You can say No to taxing demands and expectations.  It is ok to be depressed, cry and stay in bed for a little while. But don't make that your new routine.  Meditation can do wonders.  As my chiropractor said, y